Humorous Veterinary Stories Gifts

'Nein, Herr Professor, it is not a revival of Nazism....

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'If you had asked me I could have TOLD you that he bites.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

'Sure you can have another opinion but I still say you are a fat pig.'

Of course you're feeling disgruntled. You've lost your voice.

'Any other symptoms besides difficulty in marking your territory'

"Whoever said you can drive a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? (hiccup)

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

Casey's Veterinarian Clinic and Taxidermy 'Either way you'll get your pet back.'

Cinderella's coach mice needed therapy for many years.

'Don't worry, it's just the anaesthetic...'

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'

'Some watchdog you turned out to be!'

'But hey, who am I to complain?'

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

'How the heck does one do CPR on a tortoise?'

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

'No I'm going to do this one standing.

"Probably not the best time for vacuuming."

If the mouse hole's a-rockin', don

"I told him that whole elephants being afraid of us thing was just a myth. But did he listen? Now look at him. What a putz."

'With this flashlight technique we can save a lot of money on radiographs!'

"I'm always afraid I'll come to just as I'm being flushed down the toilet."