Veterinary Humor Gifts

I have learned how to solve most of these Sharpei dermatological problems...

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Do me next."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

PSA Banter.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Snowmobull

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Of Mice and Men.

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'