Veterinary Researcher Gifts

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill? I'd like to publish a case report on this one?"

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Young Dr. Dolittle.

Disease Management

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Fill it up!"

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"I have an exclusive license agreement with Pfizer Pharmaceutical."

COVID 19

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

Separation

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Examination.

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!