Veterinary Researcher Pillows

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill? I'd like to publish a case report on this one?"

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Disease Management

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"Fill it up!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

COVID 19

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"I have an exclusive license agreement with Pfizer Pharmaceutical."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Separation

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

Examination.

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!