Veterinary Professor Pillows

'Okay, you're not pre-vets anymore....'

'Today, gentlemen, we will discuss the clostridial diseases.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

"I said FETCH! Not KVETCH!"

'Maybe we shouldn't have used the tail as the donor site for a skin graft.'

'My kid is trying to get into vet school and I don't understand...

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'Bone appetit!'

Bovine Proctology Graduation

#NoJunk

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

No, no, no! Can anyone here tell me what Mr Mosely's doing wrong?

'You better believe I'm getting a second opinion...CATaracts, my eye!'

'Rectal palpation, hell! I lost my thermometer!'

WRONG! A veterinary school failure.

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

"I thought it would be difficult to paper train a dog, but Spot made a remarkable adjustment!"

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.