Veterinary Professor T-Shirts

'Okay, you're not pre-vets anymore....'

'Today, gentlemen, we will discuss the clostridial diseases.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

A classic case of 'Cow-Worm'.

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'Maybe we shouldn't have used the tail as the donor site for a skin graft.'

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

Bovine Proctology Graduation

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

#NoJunk

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

'My kid is trying to get into vet school and I don't understand...

'Bone appetit!'

No, no, no! Can anyone here tell me what Mr Mosely's doing wrong?

WRONG! A veterinary school failure.

'Rectal palpation, hell! I lost my thermometer!'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

"I thought it would be difficult to paper train a dog, but Spot made a remarkable adjustment!"

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."