Vet Science Gifts

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

'He needs counselling . . . he wants to be a vet.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Polly txt speak

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

The rain has been falling for so long the animals are pairing up and forming queues by the boat! It must be time for the Crick boat show...

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Well! I'm glad to hear you're finally using that tread mill!"

'The results of your physical exam are fine, except for your reflexes: They're more 'dog-like' than 'cat-like'.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

Cat Scan

"My pets found out they were adopted."

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."