Vet Gifts

"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

"She's not all over you, but she gets the job done."

is it an emergency?

I'm having trouble breathing.

"And when the time comes the company will put you to sleep at its own expense."

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

'But hey, who am I to complain?'

'Always give a grave prognosis, my boy!...'

'This is one sick dog.'

'Bovine Palpation'

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

'Yesterday we ran a CBC, a BUN, a liver profile...

'First the good news: he has 3 excellent legs.'

'Enough about my worms, tell me about your fleas.'

Balding dog

Liquid mice.

Balloon Animal Vaccinations

'Doctor, your glasses!'

'Seven birthday cakes a year is playing havoc with your cholesterol.'

'This is one sick dog!'

'I've run every labroratory test in the book and I'm happy to tell you that everything came out normal. There's nothing wrong with the bull."

'You guys are real friends!'

'Yes, we DO have a special price for breeders. Ten percent more than anybody else!"

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

'We did a catscan on him and we still don't know why they purr.'

"You were a veterinarian? Would you take a look at my left wing?"

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Do you have anything for Restless Tail Syndrome?'

'Rectal palpation, hell! I lost my thermometer!'

I have learned how to solve most of these Sharpei dermatological problems...

'Hello, Doctor Henson? This is Doctor Fredmulch, the veterinarian....'