First Veterinary Surgery Gifts

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Now turn your head and bark."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'Where's my glove?'

Separation

Smartphone Sonogram

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'What's founder?'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

Conspiracy Cat

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'