First Veterinary Surgery Gifts

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"Now turn your head and bark."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Separation

'Where's my glove?'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

'What's founder?'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Smartphone Sonogram

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

Conspiracy Cat

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'I always take what he says with a grain of salt...