Animal Surgeon Gifts

A blindfolded vet attempts to pin the tail on a donkey

'Did you say two liters or twenty liters of oxygen per minute?'

Animal Hospital

'Doctor, you've removed leg bands before, haven't you?'

'You wouldn't dare hit me! You'd break asepsis!'

ZZZZZZZZZ!

Power Struggle Between Vet and Chimp.

'The necropsy was a success...but the patient lived!'

Desert Vet.

'You realize, of course, that although I do many soundness exams, my experience with dromedaries is relatively limited?"

'Why won't he eat milkbones, Doctor?'

'Turpentine!'

'But I told you I was going to do a radical ear resection!'

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

'Where's my glove?'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

'What's founder?'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'