Veterinary Surgeon Gifts

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

'But on the plus side, I'm picking up HBO.'

"And when the time comes the company will put you to sleep at its own expense."

Why pets need vets.

"Look what they did to her! We should be thankful they only had us spayed."

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

Cat in bandages.

'This is one sick dog.'

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

'Bovine Palpation'

'Yesterday we ran a CBC, a BUN, a liver profile...

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

'He was a physician, but because of all the difficult patients he gave it up and became a veterinarian.'

'Doctor, your glasses!'

'This is one sick dog!'

'I see improvement . . . but you're not out of the woods, yet.'

A trip to the vet's.

"You were a veterinarian? Would you take a look at my left wing?"

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

'Sit down! If you're a veterinarian, you'll want to hear about Baron.'

Sick Bee

"Trust me: It's benign."

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

"How sick are you feeling?"

"They're not the tastiest, so try hiding them in a piece of cheese before you take them."

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

"Your bite is worse than your bark. You need braces."

"I heard he is so hard-core that he enjoys vet visits and likes riding in a cat carrier."

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

"Ned has laryngitis... He's disgruntled."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'The vet wanted to give him one of those plastic things but I said I have a much nicer lampshade thank you very much.'

Noah's Ark: 'Two Vets Wanted.'

'James Herriot would never say a thing like that!'

'She's purring!'