Horse Surgeon Gifts

'You have to admire Calhoun he never breaks asepsis."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"Now turn your head and bark."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand!'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'Where's my glove?'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'What's founder?'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

Gentlemen Riders

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

First past the post.

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'You're hired as far as I'm concerned Edwin! And look at these guys?...They seem to really like you!...You're a natural!'

Conspiracy Cat

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."