Horse Trainer Gifts

First past the post.

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'You must be the new guy around here.'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

'I must tell you I've never riden a horse.' - 'You're in luck, this horse has never been ridden.'

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

'I thought you were getting alternative therapy today...'

"You had no trouble making the weight then?"

'You're putting that saddle on backwards.' - 'How do you know which way I'm going?'

'He isn't much of a jumper.'

'He's a lousy horseshoer and he's ruining your horse's feet,...

The Horse Whisperer: The Early Years.

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Race horse training at the seaside

'Holmes, I keep telling you ... you've got to be more assertive with that horse.'

'I'm going to take a wild guess and say 'dressage'.'

Hints for the Park.

Bored Coachman

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IV

Man Tries To Teach Horse To Jump.

Boy describing how he came by his riding injuries

'Shall I 'old your 'orse sir?'

"I never had a moments doubt."

'Now that she is pregnant, can she have a rhinoceros injection and a Catholic operation?

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Man too tall to get into Jockey Club

"I carry burdens, yes.....but I certainly don't consider myself a beast."

'I want to win as much as he does: I don't understand why he thinks it helps to whip me!'

'I don't like photo finishes: I never look good in them...'

'You need to learn when to say 'whoa'.'

Indoor jumping.