Horse Trainer Gifts

First past the post.

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'You must be the new guy around here.'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

Oat Cuisine in Horse's Nosebag

'I must tell you I've never riden a horse.' - 'You're in luck, this horse has never been ridden.'

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Race horse training at the seaside

'Getting that extra weight off isn't hard. . . keeping it off is.'

'I'm going to take a wild guess and say 'dressage'.'

'He's a lousy horseshoer and he's ruining your horse's feet,...

'You're putting that saddle on backwards.' - 'How do you know which way I'm going?'

'He isn't much of a jumper.'

'Holmes, I keep telling you ... you've got to be more assertive with that horse.'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

"You had no trouble making the weight then?"

The Horse Whisperer: The Early Years.

'I thought you were getting alternative therapy today...'

Boy describing how he came by his riding injuries

Man Tries To Teach Horse To Jump.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IV

'Frankly, medals are more trouble than they're worth. They bonk me in the head whenever I trot.'

'I want to win as much as he does: I don't understand why he thinks it helps to whip me!'

Horse racing.

Bored Coachman

Hints for the Park.

'I don't like photo finishes: I never look good in them...'

"I never had a moments doubt."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Now that she is pregnant, can she have a rhinoceros injection and a Catholic operation?

Indoor jumping.

"I carry burdens, yes.....but I certainly don't consider myself a beast."

'You need to learn when to say 'whoa'.'