Equine Trainer Gifts

'I checked, they say acorns cause liver poisoning so the answer is 'no'.'

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Skipping Horse

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Quick, start the car!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Braiding a Horse's Tail

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

The Victors

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"Any questions?"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Litter Tray Training

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

'He's not supposed to go out.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Riding School Chaos

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Hanging off every word...

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

Cat Show

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."