Horse Doctor Gifts

'Maybe I shouldn't have done that....

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand!'

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Gentlemen Riders

First past the post.

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

Stable boys and Scottsman

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

An inbred poodle.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'Oh, I'm very fast, but my dad's problem is that I'm not competitive at all...'

'Look! Fat George must be back in town!'

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'