Horse Doctor Gifts

'Maybe I shouldn't have done that....

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand!'

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Gentlemen Riders

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

First past the post.

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

Cowboy at mechanic with horse hoisted

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

An inbred poodle.

Stable boys and Scottsman

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

Remounts for the Yeomanry

"I just kept feeding him candy."

I don't know why, but I never seem to win the close races.

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'