Equine Vet Gifts

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

A Few Common Ailments

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

Cat Scan

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

Dolphin

"Upper right seven buccal filling.. Upper left.. "

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

An inbred poodle.

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

"May I keep my collar on?"

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

Balding dog

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

"It hurts when I warble."

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

Desert Vet.

'...windpuffs in front and a capped hock on the right rear...'

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'The vet did it.'

'Doc lost his new watch while checking old 32.'

'Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken...'

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

'What sort of mix is she?'

Doctor Ernie, Animal Scientist, Answers Your Questions. A reader in Colorado asks "When should a colt be weaned from its mother?" A foal and his mommy are soon parted!

"We had him neutered,"