Equine Care Gifts

"Injuries are a tricky business. Break a leg and they shoot you; twist an ankle and they put you out to stud."

'I thought you were getting alternative therapy today...'

'So how exactly did you get the nickname 'four scoops'?'

A Few Common Ailments

'He thinks he's so hot but, personally, I'd rather be artificially inseminated.'

'Bad news, Billy Bob! The tests show that your phantom is a contagious equine meteitis carrier.'

'You know I have a race tomorrow.'

'I see you bit the groom whilst she was clipping you again!'

'Is it me or are you getting taller?'

'...then, after fitting the metal clamp into your mouth he puts in his whole arm...'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Pick me!"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

"Foster failure"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"Quick, start the car!"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Billy. The Kid.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Hush puppy.

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

Love a Mutt