Equine Veterinarian Gifts

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

Young Dr. Dolittle.

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Fill it up!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

ONE HORSE TOWN

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Dolphin

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

'The hills are alive with the sound of moo-sick!'

'Peter it appears that you have an STD known as 'cottontail'.'

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood...'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'