Aquatic Veterinarian Gifts

Dolphin

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

"Lap fish..."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

An inbred poodle.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

"May I keep my collar on?"

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

A Few Common Ailments

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

"First they tell you you're going in to get your bunions fixed and the next thing you know you're barking like a girl."

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

"Have you been upsetting the dog again, Leo?"

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Octopus Juggling Balls

"I can clearly see from the colour of your rings that your have some anger issues...!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

'The vet did it.'

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

"We had him neutered,"

"But You Knew I Was An Animal Doctor!"

I'm having trouble breathing.

"I'm their pet. They love me. They'll do anything for me. They cut my balls off."