Aquatic Animal Gifts

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

reincarnated worm...

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Artifishial Intelligence

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Chicken soup for the sole.

"I don't do windows."

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

Diving Cat.

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

How Swordfish Are Born

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

Whale Shark Thoughts...

Dolphin

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"You seem to be balancing your workload well."

'Having eight hands should be a big advantage, but unfortunately, I am not so well coordinated...'

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

"So, what are you doing after whale-watching season?"

"Vernon likes an element of danger in a water feature..."

"Yes, use an electric toothbrush but you still have to floss."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Don't worry about Timmy, dear ...it's just chemicals in the water."