Aquatic Veterinarian Pillows

Dolphin

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"Lap fish..."

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

An inbred poodle.

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

A Few Common Ailments

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

"Have you been upsetting the dog again, Leo?"

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

"First they tell you you're going in to get your bunions fixed and the next thing you know you're barking like a girl."

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

Octopus Juggling Balls

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

"I can clearly see from the colour of your rings that your have some anger issues...!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

'The vet did it.'

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

"But You Knew I Was An Animal Doctor!"

"We had him neutered,"

I'm having trouble breathing.

"I'm their pet. They love me. They'll do anything for me. They cut my balls off."