Farm Veterinarian Pillows

"Have you spoken to an herbalist?"

'We appreciate you loyalty to your clientele, Doctor,...

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"Fill it up!"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Farmers' Warnings.

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

The worm that churned!

Dolphin

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'Peter it appears that you have an STD known as 'cottontail'.'

'The hills are alive with the sound of moo-sick!'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

'In a pig's eye, you say!'