Farm Vets Pillows

'I haven't been kicked once since I bought this new thermometer.'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Where's my glove?'

Farmers' Warnings.

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

The worm that churned!

Animals flying kites patterned like their skins.

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'I admire your can-cock-a-doodle-do attitude.'

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

Horse Clean-up

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

A centi-stampede.

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

Can we have our hedgehog back please?(Hedgehog is stuck to the tree)

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

'Hey, Mom, you have a farmer's tan.'

Even cows get the blahs....

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"