Livestock Veterinarian Pillows

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"Fill it up!"

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Dolphin

Sick Rancher Humor

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'The hills are alive with the sound of moo-sick!'

'Peter it appears that you have an STD known as 'cottontail'.'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Free Range Cows.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'In a pig's eye, you say!'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'