Livestock Veterinarian Gifts

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Fill it up!"

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Sick Rancher Humor

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Dolphin

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'The hills are alive with the sound of moo-sick!'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Peter it appears that you have an STD known as 'cottontail'.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Free Range Cows.

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'In a pig's eye, you say!'