Large Animal Veterinarian Gifts

Horse Play.

'I KNOW this is insect repellent and not after-shave lotion.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

Dolphin

Committee On Feline Healthcare

An inbred poodle.

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

'YOU try telling him!'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

"May I keep my collar on?"

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

A Few Common Ailments

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

Balding dog

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

'Okay, you're not pre-vets anymore....'

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Doc lost his new watch while checking old 32.'

"We had him neutered,"

"Growth spurt?"

'The vet did it.'

"But You Knew I Was An Animal Doctor!"

'Not 'til you make it stop yappin'!'