Large Animal Specialists Gifts

'I haven't been kicked once since I bought this new thermometer.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

An inbred poodle.

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

Ophiologist

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

Balding dog

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

Desert Vet.

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

Zoo. Now remember, he doesn't think it's funny when you call his stuffy nose a "packed trunk."

"Hello? Beasts of the Field? This is Lou, over in Birds of the Air. Anything funny going on at your end?"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite.'

"Say 'Bark.'"