Large Animal Specialists Pillows

'I haven't been kicked once since I bought this new thermometer.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

Committee On Feline Healthcare

An inbred poodle.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

Ophiologist

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

Balding dog

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

Desert Vet.

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"Hello? Beasts of the Field? This is Lou, over in Birds of the Air. Anything funny going on at your end?"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Say 'Bark.'"

'The vet did it.'

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'