Small Animal Vet Gifts

'I'm sorry but I'm a small animal vet.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

'They sure have small litters.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Dolphin

An inbred poodle.

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

A Few Common Ailments

"May I keep my collar on?"

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

'Will you get your eyes tested, you've put the hamster in the fish tank!'

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Hamster IV

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

'Gee, Doctor Dresher, you have a wonderful way with horses....

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

"We had him neutered,"

'The vet did it.'

"But You Knew I Was An Animal Doctor!"

'Doc lost his new watch while checking old 32.'