Small Animal Vet Gifts

'I'm sorry but I'm a small animal vet.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

'They sure have small litters.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Dolphin

"Upper right seven buccal filling.. Upper left.. "

An inbred poodle.

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

"May I keep my collar on?"

A Few Common Ailments

'Worst case of Prickly-Heat I've ever seen!'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'I don't set the rules, but you do need to accept that you're a pony and move on Brian!'

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

'Will you get your eyes tested, you've put the hamster in the fish tank!'

Hamster IV

"In my practice, I prefer to treat the whole hog."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

'Doc lost his new watch while checking old 32.'

"We had him neutered,"

'The vet did it.'

Vet checks fish's heartbeat with a stethoscope through fish bowl.

'No, I'm sorry. I'm Doctor Ford and I do the large animal work....'

'Gee, Doctor Dresher, you have a wonderful way with horses....