Farm Veterinarian Gifts

"Have you spoken to an herbalist?"

'We appreciate you loyalty to your clientele, Doctor,...

Lactose Intolerant

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"Fill it up!"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Farmers' Warnings.

Dolphin

The worm that churned!

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'I wonder how long he's been a vet?'

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'The hills are alive with the sound of moo-sick!'

'It's not good enough that you are my yes persons, I want you imprinted on me!'

'Peter it appears that you have an STD known as 'cottontail'.'

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

"So you found an enormous truffle and still you weren't happy."

'In a pig's eye, you say!'