First Vet Visit Gifts

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'Hey fellas! I'm going to get fixed - I didn't even know I was broken!'

'Well, well, well...'

"The first one's just a warning."

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

'The needle was THIS big!'

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

'No need to shout.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

'This little piggy went to the doctor's office and went 'ouch, ouch, ouch' all the way home. I just made that up.'

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'The vet will see, you know!'

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"May I keep my collar on?"

Mishap at a nano technology lab on bring-your-child-to-work day.

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

To help emphasize good oral hygeine inkids, Dr. Remford installed a dental floss zipline in his office.

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

She pulls to the left.

You're fine, but we'd like to run some tests on your insurance card.

'Here, takes these...we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

'Of course I don't think you are silly, Mrs. Fifner. A dog doesn't have to be a purebred in order for you to love it."

"Is this your first time seeing a specialist?"

'$200 for bladder stones? NOW I know what they meant by 'precious stones'!'

Big dog in a vet's waiting room.

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'