Vet Clinic Visitor Gifts

"May I keep my collar on?"

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Dog wearing a cone

Cat Scan

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

'No need to shout.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'I think we need to do some updated x-rays - these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'The vet will see, you know!'

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

'First we treat! Then we'll worry about a diagnosis!'

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'Here, takes these...we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

Samaritan Pet Hospital

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'

'Don't use too much suction on that Chihuahua, Teresa.'