Vet Clinic Visitor T-Shirts

"May I keep my collar on?"

'They should have extra-small thermometers for Yorkies, Doctor!'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Dog wearing a cone

Cat Scan

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"Janet, please. I'm calling the vet's office to check their lost and found. That's the last place I saw my nuts."

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'Doctor, I think he knows where he is.'

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

'No need to shout.'

'What do you mean I've got fleas? I want a second opinion!'

'I think we need to do some updated x-rays - these appear to be four lives ago, Mr. Jingles.'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

'You want to stick that thermometer where?'

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

"The reason you haven't seen me lately is because I haven't been well..."

'The vet will see, you know!'

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'First we treat! Then we'll worry about a diagnosis!'

She pulls to the left.

A Vet's Fight with a Chimpanzee

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'The fee? Well, let's give the old wheel a spin and see what comes up!'