Veterinary Surgeons Pillows

#NoJunk

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

Lactose Intolerant

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Haute Suture

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Fill it up!"

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Dog with saucepan stuck on its head

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."