Veggie Vaudeville Gifts

"Thanks for tuning in to our podcast."

Queen of Quinoa

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"How did you cure your dog of begging for food?"

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

"Cheer up! There's a magic ingredient that makes it easy to eat vegetables...CHEESE SAUCE!"

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

We've been working on them in the wind tunnel...

Dreams of Spring...

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'Lettuce pray!'

Go Veggie...

The great zucchinis

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner