Veggie Vandal Gifts

Go Veggie...

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"Relax. They're just crows."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

“Children hate me.”

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

The vegan hunter

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"If dinner was a reality TV show broccoli would be the first thing I'd vote off!!"

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'