Veggie Prankster Gifts

"Don't be silly, the vegetables are not for me: I use them as bait..."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

Better Not Squash.

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'That chap really knows his onions!'

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

Doughnut Criminals

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

Go Veggie...

Pizza Exam: 'Just deliver it around the back of 'B' block. The money will be by the window. . .'

Tiny restaurant portion. Man finds magnifying glass amongst cutlery.

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

'This stuff isn't genetically engineered, is it?'

'Lettuce pray!'

The great zucchinis

'The salad is that expensive because we had to find a new place for the snails and worms.'

Still life?

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

'I feel rootless.'