Veggie Illusionist Gifts

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Better Not Squash.

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'That chap really knows his onions!'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"I discovered a way to get Steven to eat his vegetables. I put chocolate syrup on them."

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"Cheer up! There's a magic ingredient that makes it easy to eat vegetables...CHEESE SAUCE!"

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

We've been working on them in the wind tunnel...

Dreams of Spring...

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.