Veggie Villain Gifts

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Prize vegetables.

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Relax. They're just crows."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'great win, kids! Let's celebrate... My treat!!'

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

“Children hate me.”

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'The only thing I grow in my garden is tired!'

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

The vegan hunter

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

Dreams of Spring...

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"