Veggie Ninja Gifts

'You finish those veggies or you get no pud.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

Better Not Squash.

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Vegetarian Nightmare.

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

Taken genetic engineering too far

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

"Which one on table three has gone for the vegetarian option?"

“Children hate me.”

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'Vegebals are poisonus says sciencetists'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

'No, you can't turn your vegetables into bio-fuel.'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

'So, that's settled - the eyes have it!'

'I'm sorry but I can't bring out the dessert menu until both of you have eaten your veggies, company policy.'

The vegan hunter

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

Dreams of Spring...

We've been working on them in the wind tunnel...

"Do we HAVE to be omnivores?"

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"