Vegetable Villain Gifts

As a child, he was known as Judas Asparagus

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Advocado

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Onion Tears

Rap-scallions

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

Avocado Timeline

Runner Bean...

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Artichoking victim

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"In my previous life I was arugula."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

Pickled beets.

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'