Vegetable Villain Gifts

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Advocado

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Rap-scallions

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Onion Tears

Avocado Timeline

Runner Bean...

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

Artichoking victim

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"In my previous life I was arugula."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"Sorry, I can't tell your parents you're allergic to broccoli."

Pickled beets.

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

Gardener of the Year.

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

"It's not you. It's pea."