Vegetable Warrior Gifts

Ernie, you promised a meal from your garden but only served an omelet and a glass of water! I grew eggplant and leeks!

Planet earth was again safe, Lenny a true hero and his brussel sprouts, for one, not wasted!!'

"You said we were going to break bread, Mom. These are vegetables."

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

Pumpkin Time!

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Race you to the corner! Last one there is an expired egg substitute!"

“Children hate me.”

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

Dale regretted going to the Vegan restaurant.

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

"Apparently, giving up wearing fur wasn't enough!"

'The only vegan item on the menu is the menu itself.'

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

The vegan hunter

'... Got anything besides apples?'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

The Last Dinner

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

'Tomato Surprise. Bean Surprise. Carrot Surprise. Why are you always so surprised when my garden produces?'

'Hey, a fly! This is supposed to be vegetarian soup.'

Hell's Allotment Holders.

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

I'm a vegan triathlete

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

"All we are saying. . . is give peas a chance!"

"Is it safe to assume that the meat is laced with antibiotics and the salad is chockfull of pesticides?"