Vegan Voyagers Gifts

"It's amazing what they can do with soy, but it's just not the same."

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

The Wet Fly Fisherman: He is less vain about his appearance.

Ted Hughes

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

If poets wrote road signs.

Poetry Reading. Physics Lecture. Which'll it be -- rhyme or reason?

"In the near future climate change will cause huge disasters!. . . And if nature dares to disappoint me, I'll throw the packaging of my vegan burger into the bushes!"

Zebra to lion: 'Is this a good time to talk to you about the sanctity of life?'

Another Cultured Meat Experiment Ends in Failure.

'When Mom said you should eat a lot of green stuff, I don't think she meant grasshoppers.'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Virgin?! My bad. . . I thought you asked for a vegan."

'Could someone just tell me if I win anything?'

'I've really been cleaning up in the Las Vegas poker rooms.'

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

'There's nothing in gay non smoking... but I can give you an aisle seat in vegetarian bikers.'

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

'Fresh plumsprunes.'

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

"How's the soya, dear?"

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'

"I'll have the vegan."

"You were supposed to stay in Vegas."

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

"I've gone vegan."

"Oh no, Professor Enriquez, you misunderstood... When my brother said he was on a vegetarian diet, he meant he only eats vegetarians!"

New Milks

'I'm lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, vegan and allergic to tomatoes...what have you got that's good?'