Vegan Voyagers Pillows

"It's amazing what they can do with soy, but it's just not the same."

Poetry in motion - Runners quoting poems as they jog.

The Wet Fly Fisherman: He is less vain about his appearance.

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

If poets wrote road signs.

Zebra to lion: 'Is this a good time to talk to you about the sanctity of life?'

Another Cultured Meat Experiment Ends in Failure.

'When Mom said you should eat a lot of green stuff, I don't think she meant grasshoppers.'

'Could someone just tell me if I win anything?'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Virgin?! My bad. . . I thought you asked for a vegan."

'I've really been cleaning up in the Las Vegas poker rooms.'

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

'There's nothing in gay non smoking... but I can give you an aisle seat in vegetarian bikers.'

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

"There's no such thing as a vegan flytrap."

'Fresh plumsprunes.'

'Poppy - I have no issue with you being a Bi-polar, celibate vegan. It's just that your Aura's the wrong colour.'

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

"How's the soya, dear?"

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'

"I'll have the vegan."

"I've gone vegan."

"Oh no, Professor Enriquez, you misunderstood... When my brother said he was on a vegetarian diet, he meant he only eats vegetarians!"

"You were supposed to stay in Vegas."

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

New Milks

'I'm lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, vegan and allergic to tomatoes...what have you got that's good?'

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'