Vampire Tales Gifts

Bram Stoker

"Ugh! Damn floss..."

Vlad the Impala

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"Who's the new guy that keeps nibbling on my neck?"

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

Naming that Impala

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

'I'm quite impressed with your bloodthirstiness but we won't be able to offer you health benefits eternally.'

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

"Look, we're three thousand years old. No one's going to hire us."

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

'The pink squirrel's okay, but you gotta try the fuzzy navel.'

And where do you think you may have come in contact with AIDS tainted blood?

"You've been grinding your fangs."

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

'You don't look anything like Count Dracula and I should know, because he's a personal friend of mine.'

Fresh Blood In Politics

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

Finally - Prof. Brozinski found the vegetarian vampire! And he knew what to do...

Vampires Into Stem Cells.

Can't Count Dracula

'Dracula's First Day of School.'