Vampire Lore Gifts

'Good resume, but I just can't see you working here.'

'According to this, my coffin should be facing the south side of the crypt.'

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'I care about my family. That's why I take a supplement for iron poor blood.'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"Have you lost your keys again?"

His Bach was worse than his bite.

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

'Phew, what a night that was!'

'The count goes vegetarian'

"You've been grinding your fangs."

Two Vampire Lovers sharing a drink of Human blood

Fangs ain't what they use to be.

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

The art of Eddy Cucumba: vampires

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

A vampire wakes up to find a bat in his stocking.

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"Daylight Savings Time, you idiot!"

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Vlad the Impala

'... And this is my cellar.'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Vlad the Inhaler

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

He looks so natural lying there...

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'