Vampire Myths Gifts

"As a vegan vampire I suck, but I don't swallow."

Vampire

Vlad the Impala

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'... And this is my cellar.'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Vlad the Inhaler

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

Neptune

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

He looks so natural lying there...

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Get on with it!

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"....and hold the garlic."

Vampire on a plane

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.