Vampire Fiction Gifts

Paul Ryan, Bloodsucker

Finally - Prof. Brozinski found the vegetarian vampire! And he knew what to do...

Vlad the Impala

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'... And this is my cellar.'

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Vlad the Inhaler

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Doglike man to vampire: 'Call me an apprentice werewolf, or even a beginner werewolf, but don't call me an under werewolf!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Astral Projection

He looks so natural lying there...

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Get on with it!

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"....and hold the garlic."

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'