Vampire Fiction Writer Gifts

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Vlad the Impala

'... And this is my cellar.'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

A vampire in a canoe.

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

He looks so natural lying there...

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

I wonder what kind of wizard or vampire my husband will be

Get on with it!

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

How to fight a vampire snowman

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"I know. But I think I can change him."

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Vampire on a plane

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

Fancy a pint?

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'