Vacuum Skeptic Gifts

"Ah, we meet again, my old nemesis."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

'Oh my god, it's the Grim Housekeeper!'

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"Is really wet, here!"

COVID-19 dime

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"I’ve trained him to feed me each time I press this button."

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

conclusive proof that the Moon landings WERE faked...

First Cynic in Space

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

'Can you demonstrate yet again before my party next week?'

"So there really is a vacuum in outer space!"

Witch riding a vacuum instead of a broom.

'You suck!'

If there were a New York Vacuums baseball team...

Dyson with Death

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."

"It's the Grim Sweeper!!"

Spider Darwin Awards goes to The Bug Vacuum

'Frankly, I think you've got a cheek asking me if you're the fairest of them all.'

'I removed the sugar, artificial flavors, coloring, preservatives, and additives. Now the eight ounce box weighs four ounces.'

Andy had followed a voice that told him to build the massive vacuum cleaner but he had missed the message to go to Nebraska for the weekend."

"Forget about using a stick to gather ants: I have a vacuum-cleaner..."

'Wow, you actually suck worse than I do.'

COWS: Cow dustmite

Hell's cleaners.

"Apparently it's going to be very heavy today and could catch some people offguard!"